Why is it...

Why is it that I lose motivation? I have so many things I would like to do with my time but sometimes that first step is the hardest. I want to run again! I have an Ipod FILLED with new music, I have brought up my GPS watch, AND the training book. I want to register for Hockey and start playing again. I want to be a better golfer...cause I suck. Where do I start... Well... I'll let you know after this nap ;-)


Okay... I went for a nice run. I feel better.

6 minutes til bed...

Ugh...5 now. I am going to be exhausted. I have been in training in the last3 out of 4 weeks. I am trying to figure out when I'll see my boyfriend in the next month. I can do this I can do this I can do this. Just remember a short term sacrifice for a long term goal. I had a great 36 hours back but I'll miss him! I always do.

What's the RUSH!

Now let me first lead off with the fact that I understand that everyone is this world is brought up differently. Although I was raised Catholic, my beliefs and feelings about Marriage are different from those that my religion embraces. That being said... Why do people feel the need to be married?



I just don't have that need in my life right now. I never grew up picturing my wedding day and spending hours on end in class scribbling I heart *insert boy's name here*. (unless you count any member of the New kids on the Block.) Now don't get me wrong. I had dreams of a family, and an exciting life but never did I wonder where I was going to spend my honeymoon.



Yet, with all this there are people out there that want nothing more than to be married. In some cases wanted it so badly they don't care to whom. I wonder...Why?



Is it a fear of being alone? A need to know someone is tied to you no matter how stupid you act? Is it filling some void you feel your life is missing? Or is it just you have honestly found your soul mate...the person you can't live without?



My take on marriage is as follows. *please note I love my boyfriend VERY much* I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me...and vise versa. Marriage has certain vows that I don't feel like I should have to take. How about I just tell you, "I want to be together for as long as it makes us happy." Or "I take you as a mutual partner in this relationship but if we grow apart for any reason we both promise to remain close friends...especially if there is another life involved."



I may be naive... and I'm not saying I won't be married someday. My life is unwritten and I don't know which path it will be taking ...but that being said, I daydreamed about taking over the world not what shade of white my wedding dress should be.

Choo choo... off to training.

Two weeks of this...Really?

I understand the concept and even mildly appreciate it but wow... I am bored out of my mind EVERY DAY. This is only the end of day three and it feels like it's been 2 weeks. A lot of the stuff we are currently learning is rather repetitive but I'm sure it's bound to get more interesting.

On a happier note I actually saw my boyfriend tonight. It was the first time all week. We had an hour together before he left to ref hockey so we caught up a little. I guess I'm going to have to get use to this.

What happens to our goals?

I have always been the type of person that needs and wants something to work towards. I like to have goals in my work life and my personal life to keep me motivated and constantly striving to be better. After a conversation on the phone with someone (lets call her Sally) I started to wonder... Does that go away once you get older? Do you stop living, striving and reaching for new things?

Life is so short. Why would you stop trying to make the most out of it? The excuse "Sally" gave me was, "I am too old for that." Maybe that's why we dread getting older. You live your whole childhood saying when I grow up I wanna do _____ (fill in the blank here) and then when we get there... we are "too old for that."? I'm not buying what you're selling. I just don't. I never want to look back and think I didn't get out of life what I wanted. I may not get everything checked off but I will know that I never stopped trying.

With my 30th birthday coming up there are a lot of things I haven't done that I want to. I haven't traveled Europe, I haven't gotten my M.B.A. , I haven't done a triathlon. But that doesn't mean I won't. Maybe I expect to much out of certain people... but I'll say it again. Life is too short. Live in the real world and make the most out of this life... challenge yourself... believe in yourself and HAVE FUN! This life is the only one, we know for sure, we get.

Back to the Great Lakes State.

Back by popular demand (My Sister in Law) I shall post a Blog.

"I'm from Here" Proceed to point to you palm in the general area of your hometown.

There is so much stuff going on in my life I don't even know where to begin. I guess the first and most important is I will be furthering my career by moving to Michigan to be an Account Executive for Dell. I plan on staying there 12-18 months so I am able to come back to Dell in higher role internally in Austin. I am confident that this is the right move but I'm not going to lie...It's Scary.
1.) Brad (the boyfriend) and I will be doing the dreaded LONG DISTANCE relationship.

2.) Michigan's economy isn't the strongest.

3.) I will be paying a mortgage and rent.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Brad and I were talking last night. (please note this isn't easy for him but he is trying) And I think this explains our mentalities to a tee. To me... This is a challenge. How am I going to make this work? How am I going to be the BEST at this? What do I need to do in order make myself successful? Brad ... this is an obstacle. His brain thinks like this. How do I avoid this? Can I just go around it? Do I really have to face this head on? Isn't there a way I can ignore this and it will go away?

I love my boyfriend. There should be no doubt about that. I love that he likes where he is in life (although I push him to go one step farther at every chance.) I love that sometimes he fears change (because in some cases it works out in my best interest.) I LOVE the sense of humor he address these "obstacles" in (because my brothers got the humor) but I ADORE the support he gives me when I am not as strong as I should be (that's right I question my abilities sometimes.) And it makes me laugh when we have to reverse roles because he has a little break down (and gets a little nervous about all the steps we have to take to make this happen.)

And with that I feel like we make a pretty good team. Currently I am doing 2 jobs and working towards my 2 week training in Austin and 1 week training in St. Petersburg.

I think My lil Boingerhead was on to something. I think this will help with my journey..."Vocalizing" my trials and tribulations may be quite therapeutic.